ONE: GIVE YOUR CONFIDENCE A BOOST
You may think this is counter intuitive… but I promise it’s true. There is no confusing “chicken or egg” situation here. You don’t NEED all the confidence to do a boudoir session… the confidence comes as we shoot. I promise. When you do a boudoir session, your confidence will grow faster than the Grinch’s heart when he learned the true meaning of Christmas. Fact.
I’ve seen mild mannered ladies transform into magical goddesses right before my eyes. The right pose, the right light, the right outfit and then boom… bombshell! I get to watch the transformation every time… The first few photos are a bit guarded, nervous and unsure, but then I show a few stellar shots from the back of my camera and, poof… she sees it… she gets it… she OWNS it - and at that point it is game on and she’s unstoppable.
When she walks out of our session, she’s a new woman and feels like she can take on anyone and anything. She’s got this magnetic energy that is pulsating off of her. There is real lady magic in a boudoir session, y’all. So, if you’re in need of a boost… book it.
TWO: FEEL SEXY… AND POWERFUL
This goes along with the confidence for sure, but this is the next level. There is something about feminine energy that is uniquely powerful. When you take the time to tap into it… when you allow yourself to be ALL feminine with beauty, sensuality, allure, intuition, grace… when you channel that energy like She-Ra and call on the power of Grayskull, you feel unstoppable. Personally, in these moments, I hear a constant soundtrack of Beyonce “I’m feelin’ myself, I’m feelin’ myself, I’m feelin’ my…”. I think this is why women love her so much… because she embodies this to the maximum. I can only imagine how she gets herself into that headspace before she performs. I mean… the screaming and adoring fans probably boost her to the next level, but she has to come correct with the feminine energy in full swing. I see candles in her dressing room… I see beautiful fragrance, I see body oils and sexy wardrobe... I hear affirmations and sensual music... maybe some bubbles to get the nerves smoothed out a little. And, definitely a hype team around her making her feel and look gorgeous.
So, yeah… that’s pretty much exactly what we do in the boudoir session to “get you there”. Plus, the whole time, I’m your “screaming fans”. I boost you so hard that you’ll have a majorly inflated ego when you walk out the door. So… be careful when you leave and interact with people after your session. You’ll be magnetic… you’ll be charged… people will feel drawn to you… you’ll have things show up that you’ve been waiting for… you’ll feel like you can do anything. And, you can… so, be careful what you do and where you go and who you encounter. You’ve been warned. What you do with this power is up to you.
THREE: CELEBRATE YOUR BODY
I mean it. You’ve got to. I don’t know if it’s innate or just society over the past… oh, I don’t know… forever years, but there is something about a woman’s body that is beautiful. Art knows it. Music knows it. We all know it. So, we should celebrate it.
Your body has done so much. And, even if you’re not aware of it… it’s carried you through some shit.
My best friend, Loren, didn’t have this gift. Her body failed her in her late 20s… it gave up. She fought hard, but it was an impossible battle. Before she left this planet and life, we did a boudoir session. One, to mourn the parts of her that she had lost. Two, to make her feel beautiful and confident after the shit show that is Chemo and radiation. Three… to photograph all the amazing wigs she lucked out on. I’m telling you… wigs are where it’s at, y’all. And, FOUR… the most important reason we did it was to mark this amazing battle she had overcome up to that point. To celebrate the body that had carried her through years of treatment, pain, and surgeries. To bring back a part of her that had been stripped away with illness… to bring back her femininity and beauty.
Now, not all of us will have this story (God willing)… but it put a lot of things in perspective for me. Mostly that we should ALL be celebrating our bodies… what they do for us… how they keep us healthy and capable… how we are sometimes SO lucky not to think about how we feel or what hurts. Not everyone is healthy. Not everyone can walk across the room to pick up their coffee cup and take a sip. Not everyone gets to live out six or seven or eight decades on this planet.
So, frickin’ celebrate them all!!!
FOUR: PRESERVE ALL YOUR HOTNESS
I can’t even tell you how many “before” photos are in my phone. The days I got super motivated and said to myself, “ok, fatty fat cat… today is the day we get our shit together”. However, that cute little short lived motivation was obviously dwarfed by my love of wine, bread, pasta and just living a beautiful life that is deprived of deprivation… So, inevitably, a few months or years later, there was another sweet little “before” shot of me standing flat footed in front of a mirror in my skimpiest of workout clothes looking ready and stern faced willing myself to stay on path this time.
Random story, I know… but with a very important point. I LOVE those before photos. I was smokin’ in all of them. Some of them go back 13 or 14 years and I was HAWT!!! My body was BANGIN’!!! I sincerely remember thinking how I was failing though… how I shouldn’t have let myself get to that point. And, now I just think… bless her heart.
I grew up in the time of Supermodels and I was OBSESSED with them. Women like Cindy, Christy, Claudia, Tyra, Naomi, Paulina… those were my girls. If they would have had social media back in the late 80s and all of the 90s, I would have been their first follower. Their most frequent commenter. Their most tagged and reposted content creator. I wanted to BE them and I knew I would be… I felt it in my bones. I was going to be in the photographs, walk the runways, drink the Pepsis, wear the Calvin Kleins, dance in the videos, shine on the cover of Seventeen Magazine!! I was destined for all of it.
Spoiler alert: I never became a supermodel, however… I definitely am just like them. We all are… all us ladies who constantly judge and criticize our female humanness. There was a documentary on Apple TV about professional models from the 80s and 90s called “The Super Models”…. I watched the entire thing the day it came out. (obvi) I think it came out a few years ago and it’s still available. Go watch it. But my favorite and most memorable part of the entire series was when they interviewed Paulina Porizkova… the most gorgeous Czech woman to ever walk the planet. She is now 60 years old and still modeling, rightly so… and I’m pretty confident she has never gone under the knife. In her segment, she talked about how when she was starting her career as a teenager, she was constantly criticizing and critiquing herself. I think at that age she talked about how much she hated her thighs… and then five or six years later, she looked at that photo and thought how GREAT her thighs looked, but now… her stomach wasn’t as tight. And, then ten years later, she looked at the photos where she thought her tummy wasn’t tight and thought it looked AMAZING!! But now… she’s seeing a few fine lines around her eyes. And, then several years later, she looked at those photos and though how gorgeous her skin was… but NOW…
Do you see where she’s going?? We are ALWAYS going to see our flaws and imperfections. I don’t know why we do this. I hate that we do this… but it is what it is. At a certain point, she had an epiphone and realized she had this insane pattern continuing to cripple her. Cripple her from seeing how amazing she is in THAT moment. She could see it later… five or ten or twenty years later, she saw the beauty in those old photos. Why couldn’t she see it NOW?!?! So, she started reframing her pattern. Stopping it cold in her tracks. Making a choice to appreciate the beauty in her body, her skin, her wrinkles… now.
So, I challenge you to do the same. Preserve your hotness. Now.
They say “it’s only going to get worse”… and in my experience, that’s been the case. My body has progressively gone down hill in a variety of fun and bizarre ways. I think it was around 38 where I got the first big dose of reality that I couldn’t just eat whatever I wanted and still maintain… and they say 44 is the next big drop, so… really looking forward to that this year. But I have taken boudoir photos of myself… I’ve taken sexy photos of myself… I’ve had photos taken in swimsuits… and I love them. I’m not perfect AT. ALL.. but I’m perfect for me and where I’m at and I KNOW that in ten years, I’ll look at the photos I took this year in my swimsuit and think “DAMN, girl… you looked smokin’!!!!”
If I could encourage women to do a boudoir session or ANY type of photo session every few years to celebrate yourself and document how gorgeous you are… I would. If your mostly naked body isn’t where you feel most sexy, then don’t go that route. I did a session for my mother about 10 years ago and we had her wear a sweet nightgown, a sexy pair of silk pajamas and then a little off the shoulder number that made her feel supes cute. That was as “boudoir” as she was interested in… and she rocked it! She felt pretty. I watched her see herself through my eyes and her confidence soared. I want you to do the same. To feel this same feeling. So, whether you go more covered… or do the absolute most and bare it all, the point is to make it your own. Let me hold your hand through the process and escort you into a new realm of hotness and confidence you’ve never known… and maybe learn to love yourself a little more in the process.
FIVE: JUST BECAUSE
The majority of my clients come to me to do this type of session as a gift to their partner. And, although I think that is a lovely gift idea and always encourage this choice, I think it’s just an excuse. A facade. I think most women really want to do this type of session, but feel silly doing it “just because”. So, their partner or this “life event” gives them the more acceptable reason for boudoir. But it my humble opinion, the absolute best and number one reason to do boudoir is just that… just because.
Just because you want to feel sexy.
Just because you know you’re body will change and you want to remember all your goodies just as they are.
Just because you want to treat yo’self.
Just because you want to see what it’s like.
Just because you are curious if you really could look super sexy.
Just because you love yourself.
Just because your body is the best it’s looked in a long time and you want to be able to look back on this moment and celebrate it in twenty or fifty years.
There are SO many valid reasons that you could or should do a session. It doesn’t have to be only because you’re getting married or having an anniversary… or having a baby soon. It can be because you’re hot as balls and love yourself and want to give yourself the gift of preservation. It’s really that simple, so go ahead and treat yo’self…
Just because.